Michael Jackson is now the Elizabeth Taylor of Montreal

HE LIVES!!!!!

Just kidding. He isn't a zombie.

But really.

Zombie Mike,

-or-

.....

....?

....

.... I've always been a zombie fan in theory.

Okay, so the question on everyone's mind is, IS MJ *really* DEAD?

Everyone knows that the internet has all the answers. Especially Yahoo! answers.

(Don't you effin hate it when Yahoo! has a question asked, which you need answered too, but there's no answer? Maybe one, but it's just ANOTHER person looking for the answer? Then there's like, people who ASK Yahoo! questions. There's those people, and then there's those who read books, or just wait for someone else to answer the preposed wikiquestions).

Fortunately, on the question of Michael Jacksons death, Yahoo has the correct answer!

Julie S

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Is Michael Jackson dead?

A bunch of my friends told me that he was dead, but idk if they were kidding or not. plz tell me the truth!!

• 6 months ago

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Cute Lesbo

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Nope
he's still alive at the age of 50.

• 6 months ago

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  no he's not dead. he's retreated out of the public eye due to the shenanigans and scandals...and last heard on a radio show that his finances are a shambles....as are those of most of his family...and that some King was suing him for stealing money he'd said he would invest or something like that overseas.

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  • 6 months ago

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Ok, so the date is wrong. But really. What if he IS hiding?

Is he with Elvis?

Let's be honest here. MJ isn't dead. He planned his last tour in March. Convenient eh? See! Watch this video! Ha!....

Oh wait. What? The rights to this video... have... expired...?

Well that's funny...

What is even funnier, is the last tour was called the "This Is It" tour...

But hey, now that he's dead, they can still sell the same merch for the tour.

Oh, and wasn't the funeral nice? Where was the body?

Let's be real now. Breaking news says MJ was MURDERED!:

“Law enforcement sources say there is already ‘plenty of powerful evidence’ linking Dr. Murray as the person who administered the drug to Jackson. The evidence includes various items found in Jackson’s house, including the Propofol, an IV stand and oxygen tank.

“And we’ve learned the LAPD has had ‘multiple conversations’ with the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s office, although the case has not been formally presented to the district attorney.”

Propofol is a sedative which is so strong it is used to put patients to sleep before surgery. It has previously been claimed Michael used it to help him overcome insomnia.

Link here.

So. Here is what I think.

He was drugged strong enough for surgery.

Then, he was probably taken to hospital "dead"...

And then the final plastic surgery.

MJ is now a woman, and living in Montreal. (Notice how it kind-of rhymes with Demerol?) It's one of the only places in Canada where he didn't get a lot of shit for being a dirty rich perv (not even going there -- it's too angering to acknowledge in my maternal mode).

But on to the plastic surgery. The final surgery, which was to be acknowledged publicly as his death. Likely, it's been in the planning for months or years.

Mike was always very close to Elizabeth Taylor. His plastic surgery adventures made him look more and more like her. He wanted to look like her.

One can hardly question that Mike would have wanted to take the final step, and become a woman like he so desperately wanted to be.

To become Liz.

And strangely, now that Liz is in hospital, I have to wonder if maybe Dr. Murray drugged her too, so that Mike could harvest her vital organs and have them transplanted into him.

According to the New York Post the 77-year-old is being treated in a Los Angeles hospital after being rushed there yesterday from her Beverly Hills home.

The paper's columnist Cindy Adams said: 'The heart's gone out of her.'

Inconsolable: Elizabeth Taylor is devastated by the loss of her close friend

Would you put it past a guy who is 50 and lives on a carnival ranch with children? It's all a little bit "it puts the lotion on its skin" for me...

Weapons of Mass Disruption

Or read it here.

Your internet playground is being defended, military-style.

"We will deter, prevent, and defend against [cyber] attacks."

He talks about things at stake... like our private information. It got me thinking.

 "I am creating a new office here at the White House that will be led by the Cyber Security Co-ordinator... I will depend on this official in all matters relating to cyber security, and this official will have my full support, and regular access to me."

... a Cyber Czar? 

"We will work with all the key players... to ensure a unified and organized response to future cyber-incidents."

I am taking this as a warning, personally. Obama believes in net neutrality, sure. Politicians say stuff like that, and I believe he means it. "But the task isn't easy." 

He talks about the technological revolution. "A new world awaits." He's right.

I'm not sure if I want in. This Renaissance will inevitably end, as each one has in human history. When it does, do we have an enlightenment to look forward to? ... or will the religious fervor be replaced by a fearful devotion to a new order?

Deja vu, deja fit...

After 9/11, we saw changes happen in the US... the patriot act, tightened security... and it affected Canada a lot. 

The ministry of information, the ministry of peace.

The internet is a global system. It isn't going to be just America and China watching your bits and bytes, eventually the UN will agree that we need a global effort to police the internet. It's already begun in Canada.

And when power gets their fingers into freedom, its game-over.

I'm NOT just talking about P2P sharing, or being able to say whatever you want, or organize an anti-government rally... although these things are important to how our society is changing, and viewing content and technology. 

This is where I will make my most forceful recommendation possible... I need you all to watch RiP!: A Remix Manifesto. 

Let the old ways die out, because content and idea-sharing is the future. This rocking documentary was made on Vancouver Island, and features the ill mash-ups of Girl Talk. Check out this trailer. If it gets you pumped like I did, download it and share it (or remix the chapters on opensourcecinema.org , like the creator asks you to!):

All this net neutrality business seems blah-blah-boring, but I'm actually frightened. In fact, I've decided that I'm getting out of the world of online-banking. And here's why: 

In my 20th Century History class, we had this research assignment: compare news from the time of a major 20th Century event, with later historical analysis. 

I descended into the microfilm labs to scour through seafoam metal drawers, and tiny cardboard boxes with acid-yellow labels. After fiddling with the illuminator, I rolled through pages and pages of the New York Times, looking for the panic during the stock market crash of 1929. 

And the news was a lot like it is now. Shocked, and desperate for solutions. Except instead of banks funding the market, now it's the government and the federal reserve. Or, to be precise -- it has always been at the expense of the people. 

When I read about this, I wasn't as enlightened as I am now about how the system of money works.  (If you want a great way to learn about the omnipresent divinity that is the System of Money, I recommend taking a crash course. It's friendly. Share it on.)

Basically, the stock market crashed because major bankers like Morgan, Chase, and National City Bank left the market quietly one black Thursday in October. When THAT much money leaves the market, the brokers who engineered the "Roaring 20's" needed to make some "margin calls"...

A margin call is basically a broker's way of saying, "The market is sucking, we need to sell your stock... and you haven't made enough on it. So give me the money you owe me"...  Because in the 20's, people started a new kind of credit. Brokers would allow you to buy $1000 in stock for only $100 -- or, on a margin. People did this in DROVES because it was "guaranteed" to make cash.

Until the bankers left. And people jumped out their balcony's in front of their wives and children, because they didn't have that $900 missing from the stock. Put that in today's dollars and you've got a hefty debt.

In the initial news of the day, there is no mention that the bankers left, or of the suicides. Just like you won't hear about it now. The market just "suddenly turned" and it started a chain-reaction of selling that broke the market, and jobs and fortunes were lost. 

And then, as if by deus ex machina -- the bankers met to decide to make a massive investment in the market, to turn it around. And so they gobbled up banks for pennys on the dollar, saving the market... and causing a ten-year depression. 

I should mention that stocks are not the only way that these "key players" make money. Nay, the world is a fabulously mapped game of Risk. 

Nobody ever expects it. The financial attacks on citizens happen a few decades apart. 

Billions for GM. Billions for AIG. 

"We will work with all the key players... to ensure a unified and organized response to future cyber-incidents."

It's only a matter of time before the game goes digital.

Legislating how you type. 

Where you surf.

And download.

And share...

Freedom of speech, 

Freedom of identity,

Freedom of information,

Forget it.

In fact, I shouldn't even be posting this. My name and email address are known to any government official who wants to read my blog, and know my opinions. They could classify me as dangerous if they want, solely because I want to share these links with you. And once they know me, they know my bank. 

Why not wipe the accounts of anyone who might be considered inconvenient? Of course, it would never be the government or banks who actually carry out such a massive cyber-theft... as Obama explains in his speech... it'll be more like Al Quada or something. 

Which is why we (apparently) need some internet protection. As with most cases of freedom vs. over protection, we will probably need some kind of serious incident to solidify our belief in the Cyber Czar.

Because that's how it works.

So are blogs going to be considered Weapons of Mass Disruption? Or profiles? Do I need a disclaimer? Is Facebook really linked to the CIA?

The internet is slowly slipping out of our grip, and we sit idly by, tweeting like twits and Facebooking when our faces should be in books, studying, learning how we can fight the threat of internet freedom legally and collectively. 

The biggest letdown of the 21st century would be our early failure to keep the internet free. Haven't we learned from radio? TV?  Chrissakes, I can't even listen to INTERNET radio, or stream Colbert without adverts. 

Before long, our RFID chips will be our login devices, too.  And then we can look forward to directed advertising and subversive coercion on every website that we surf.

We Humans We're Buggered for Sure

I've been having interesting conversations with people lately, varying on the theme of "uniting against a common foe." 

It seems like we people are always looking for a battle: high school vs. high school, city team A vs. city team B, battles between countries (GO CANUCKS! I never watch the games. I have a Canadian sixth sense that tells me they've won... amid the mass honking in the streets that occurs  simultaneously). And I started thinking, you know... all this stuff with NASA sending a $600 M Kepler-carrying rocket to look for other habitable planets may have the happy side effect of world peace. 

Hear me out. 

Let's say we find life-supporting planets -- won't there be life on them? Are we prepared, as a globe, to unify against the extraterrestrial? I don't know that we are. I certainly haven't gotten over how NASA refused to name their new node after Stephen  Colbert. I mean, he did get the most votes... oh well. If anyone believes in pure democracy, please raise your hand and say "Yes We Can"...

Like an army of idealists. Please keep that fever burning. The stars are aligned like its 1969. 

Really, even if the world can unite against alien predators (sounds like New Colonialism -- do they have oil on these planets?) what is going to save us here on Earth? With "climate change" absolutely ravaging developing nations, how are we so sure that we're safe here for long? Isn't a tsunami going to totally wipe out my island soon? It's only a mater of time before things like "Katrina" happen other places. Can you blame Mother Nature? I would be fighting back too.

And the animals are pissed off at us too. The new swine-flu that is threatening a global pandemic is just one more example. Mad cow? Foot-and-mouth disease? Avian? The animals aren't too thrilled about the abuse that they've suffered either. 

The new flu that started in Mexico now has outbreaks all over due to promiscuous travel. Mostly by airplane. How many tonnes of jet fuel smog does it take to make the Earth and it's other life forms turn against us?

Have we, humans, the "divine gods of this Earth" -- have we gone too far? Christians will think I'm blaspheming, but I'm not. We are not gods, but we sure act like it. And that's a sin.

We have no regard anymore for the fact that this planet is a fragile ecosystem, where all parts are involved and symbiotic. So many, many, many species have become extinct as a direct result of human interference. Even here on Vancouver Island! It's not even worth estimating, but I'm sure it hovers somewhere around the same number of trillions spent in the US military deficit. 

But back to the $600 M rocket. Did you know that 40, 000 people who have NOTHING could live at my standard of living for a year? 

I love statistics and math. So did Stalin. It makes things so clinical, things are reduced to mere data -- as if there's no significance attached to a number like 40, 000 (which also happens to be the number of children that die each DAY from malnutrition).

What happens when we realize that our own worst enemy is ourselves? Do we adapt, change, or get swept into our own self-extinction? Can you feel the influenza frenzy?

I don't know about you, but I'm about ready to join the voluntary human extinction movement.